Anyone who has ever worked in a church leadership or other type of public position knows what it is like to live life in a fishbowl. Everyone is constantly watching you. I was blessed to have the opportunity to be placed in a wonderful position at our church where I was in charge of programming for our children aged birth through junior high and help with with family events. There are many things about that position that I miss dearly. I absolutly LOVED working with the children and families. I loved being a vessel for God to share so much. My fishbowl did contain my home where I could retreat, and where the secrets were kept as best possible. Unfortunately there came a time where that fishbowl did have to break. Because of what was happening at home and my needing to heal from my past hurts, I needed to leave that home and leave that fishbowl. When I left the fishbowl it was like it had fallen to the floor with a loud crash. There was no turning back and being able to go back to that fishbowl. Many people did not know why I left so suddenly, yet I have heard that some rumors and speculation were spread. I am still learning who will still talk to me and who will not. Leaving the fishbowl, leaving my faith family, has left me grieving so much. My choices were not to hurt anyone that I worked with, but for self-preservation. I could not go on living with the hidden hurts. My time there was a wonderful and extremely important time in my life.
glassbreaker01 